Ramblings - Momma Bear

I sat at work one day, one particularly slow day, and wrote an email to myself about various things I wanted to put on this blog. I'm not sure I'll put all of it in one, or spread it out, but 'so it begins'....

It might not be a good idea to try to "help" a parent with a screaming toddler.....

 

Parents, don’t worry so much about your baby or toddler making noise or being disruptive (or what you perceive to be disruptive). Don’t be embarrassed by what they say or do when they are younger and really don’t understand what they are saying or doing. This is what you are there for – to let them know what is and is not acceptable in certain places or at certain times. Their noise probably bothers you more than it bothers anyone else. Except......

It was after one in the afternoon. My two youngest were about 3 years old or so. We hadn’t had lunch. We were exhausted. We were in a grocery store (ya, I don’t know why either). My daughter was in the cart but my son was walking. He got upset about my saying no to something he wanted and he decided to throw a tantrum on the floor. I walked away. I knew I couldn’t do anything to help him calm down, but that he would probably follow me once I was out of sight (and I was way too tired to care). But then, that one person that was bothered with his tantrum had to interfere. She chose the wrong time to do that. I am generally a chill person and avoid conflict as much as I can. However, that one day, no lunch, exhausted, two toddlers…. It was too much. I honestly don’t remember much about that whole interaction except that at the beginning she asked, “should I get the manager?” I believe it was an attempt to see if I needed help. I don’t know. My response was, “why?”. Much of the rest as far as words is a blank. Except that I got upset and she got defensive and our voices were escalating. At some point my son ran over and grabbed me around the waist, and my reflexive response was to put my arm on his shoulder (protective instincts?), to which she replied, “See, that’s all he needed was some love.” Oh! Watch out! Momma Bear just lost it! I was yelling at her! And then I guess she walked away or something and I turned around and started down the isle and it was then that I realized there were other people there, trying to avoid eye contact or acknowledge what just happened. I couldn’t believe it myself. I think I went out to the car and cried.

 

And there it is, my dark parenting secret out there for everyone. To people who think they need to ‘help’. Don’t.